This post comes with a WARNING of immaturity and lots of phalicness ahead. If you decide to look, theeeen you can't complain at me for my sillyness.
SO, I am about to begin a story filled with all things stupid. I hope you are sitting comfortably.
This morning I woke up feeling pretty unwell, but eventually made it to my Japanese Culture lectures and as it turns out I missed a few interesting things while I was trying to summon the will to get out of bed.
The lecture was called Japanese Religions - so I was quite sad to miss the beggining anyway. However, I then learned that not ONLY had I missed the part where our lecturer had to explain the wonders that is "Mr Happiness"a Japanese Buddhist Monk who tries to big up the number of visitors to his shrine by performing youth culture inspired sermons. *couldn't think of a better word for it sorry* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8L-oRCBgV0
But I also missed the part where out lecturer had to explain the Kanamara Matsuri (penis festival) to a hall of Uni students...damn...I always miss out on the best bits somehow.
There is also a simarlar vagina festival the day before this festival, where 40 men carry a giant vagina through the streets, the women the next day will pull along a giant penis carving. They will carry them to the local shrine to promote good harvest and fertility. Then there is the chance to buy many phalic and vagina themed treats. (Yaaay!)
This woman looks like an Asian Anne Robinson with a strap-on
on her face doesn't she? I'm sure she was the life of the
party...
That's right ladies...stroke that giant penis...
that is just how the old men perverts like
it...
It's like Brighton, except the sticks of rock here
could give the old ladies heart attacks...
Or maybe not...(look at that face - have you ever
seen such pure delight on an old ladies face
before?)
That's right big boy...they're looking at you!
I have never seen a maid hugging something so phalic
while pulling such a scary face...(don't ask me
what I do at the weekends please...)
If you were having any troubles in your life you could
borrow one of the shrines many wooden penis sculptures
to try and help you over come them. Then you would
return it for others to use.
Women will carry them for fertility and to protect themselves
from illness. I should imagine it could also work well
protecting them from attackers too...*WHACK*
She is having way to much fun pretending she has a penis...
"Hold on tight Ladies...it's going to be a BUMPY ride!"
Mochi is weird at the best of times...
Just what you always wanted - a mochi penis and vagina set!
(Don't lie, I know you do.)
Could they make that any more detailed? *shudder*
SO! What have I learnt today? Well, I have learnt that the Japanese love their genitals. That Japanese monks are the hippest kind of monks. What has this taught me about Japanese religion? F**king nothing but it makes for an excellent blog post! Right? Am I right? I feel like we have become just that little bit closer...broken down some walls and such...
No?
Oh well, in which case I should think of going to bed soon. Except...I'm kindof scared I'm gonna dream of giant wangs now...
Night! x
